Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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