I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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