matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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