I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
