The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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