Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Randomize
