Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
honey bunches of taint.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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