yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
operation harelip BJ is a go
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
