I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
