You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
