I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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