I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Text me some of your sweat
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
