I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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