okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Hippo gnu deer
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
