never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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