a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
