Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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