The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
