OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
