We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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