girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
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Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
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Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch