The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
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He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
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he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...