So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements