I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
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Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
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Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...