My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong