Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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