haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
