I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
