All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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