dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
