You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
