you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
