thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
