Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
