he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
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for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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