She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
