A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
