How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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