At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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