All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
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