Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I love having hate sex.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
