If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize