So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
