shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
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God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
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I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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