Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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