is your mom at the bar?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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