I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
