not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
