Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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