When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
