i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
