Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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