the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
