I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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