What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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