sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize