worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
