I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
