Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
