Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
