I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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