This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
