I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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