Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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