I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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