So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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