Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
