3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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