I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
